For instance, that morning, the morning of the sheen on the streets and the city asleep, I put some water on to boil and I realized that there was no oatmeal left in the cupboard. Take the tension that needs an outlet, and re-apply it, like a salve or leech, to trivia. Step two-the real genius hinge of the whole thing-is then, in the absence of all emergencies, in the vast plain of false calm left after the tyrannical banishment of all the old emergencies, to choose to treat the smallest things as emergencies.
Patience! Wait till you hear my next two steps. It sounds in fact like the opposite of a solution. Now, this-I can already hear you saying it-can’t last, this is not a workable solution. The first step is to ignore all existing emergencies. Instead of consulting a professional, I have come up with a three step solution. I’ve been living my life too much in a state of emergency. In the morning, when they slumber, you feel a total absence, like a minus sign but by Boston’s mid-afternoon, wafting pot smoke signals awakening hormonal hordes at 4 PM or so, they become more tangible and jog by, as if exercise were necessary for them. There is no difference between a college student sleeping and a college student in a distant town. The college students have all left for the summer, or they’ve graduated and their long lives are about to begin, or they’re sleeping.
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